My interpretation of Mario Vergani's book consists in looking at birth as a starting point for rethinking family formats and gender from the perspectives opened by queer theories. This reading allows me to revisit some of the conceptual points of the book in order to put them at the service of psychoanalytic ethics, particularly with regard to the handling of gender issues. The book obviously does not offer simple answers to clinicians, but it will push them to review their preconceptions and to undo their certainties.